better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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