i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
