I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
as a side note pls kill me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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