nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?