Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door