those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..