Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
