u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize