I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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