his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
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He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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