Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize