READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
