69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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