Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
