I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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