I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you still have your period?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
