So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
