the new term for farting is butt boxing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
