carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
