Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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