yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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