Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
