theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
