I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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