And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
