Who wears a wallet chain?!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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