remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
