thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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