Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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