New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
