he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just invented taco cereal.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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