I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
