remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize