Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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