I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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