People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
