If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
