I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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