She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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