I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
