Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
