Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
