She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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