I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
there is puke in my bra ... again
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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