the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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