Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize