my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I would fuck him just for his dog
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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