3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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