It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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