Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
