love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
