You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
