I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
