Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
