And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
