yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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