So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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